1/7/21

as tears dripped down my face the lord met me & sat with me. He reminded me that i'm not alone and He is my comforter. sweet emalani sat with me & prayed with me. (via facetime) right when i found out my covid test was positive the sweetest girl from another squad slipped a piece of paper under the door. their squad had prayed over me the day before. 

the note she slipped under my door said "during prayer, I saw you peeking out your door and the word that came to my mind instantly was the word RADIANT. just the way you looked, coming into the arms of the Father - was absolutely amazing! like, you were focused on Him and nothing else, and you were so happy for it. you were smiling. and honest to God, for the first couple hours after that, it almost drove me to tears to see how joyous and radiant you are in Abba's presence. like when you were with Him, you didn't have any concerns but to just worship and love Him with all your heart and your whole being. it was so amazing to see, and i only saw your face for like, two seconds. i honestly was like, "Lord that is someone who loves you SO WELL" and God loves you too! but you've inspired me to try and love God as well as you do. especially when hard things come up, like waiting on a negative covid test and not knowing anything about the future. you trust God so so well. i want to be like that. i want to love God like you do - so much that when people see me, like i saw you, they know that God is wholly, entirely within me. God is wholly, entirely in you! man. you're just so cool. and i only know your name."

 i was amazed at the note, the words she spoke to me felt so refreshing to hear. it brought me to even more tears. she really saw how joyous and radiant i was just being alone with the Lord. my prayer has always been that when others see me they would see the light, joy & love i hold in Him. i am choosing to find joy in the small things. here are some things that i am really thankful for:

• sunlight coming in through the window 
• the sound of birds chirping 
• abbas presence in this room
• sweet notes slid under my door
• facetime calls
• brook serving/loving me so well
• gap f squad praying over me
• marissa's encouraging words posted on the bathroom mirror
• the smiles and waves my squad gives me from afar 

as most of you know my squad and i were supposed to leave for guatemala yesterday morning but because i tested positive for covid we are all going to quarantine for a week, get retested and go to guatemala when everyone is negative. i am learning that God is working everything out for my good even when i don't understand it. counting it all joy when i face trials of many kinds knowing that the testing of my faith produces endurance (james 1:2-3). wow, i am so thankful that my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven. 

ecclesiastes 3:1-5 says "there is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven; a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance." there is a time for everything. He turns mourning into dancing! let's dance with Jesus knowing that the best is yet to come; leaning into deeper intimacy and dependency on him. making room for Him to do whatever He wants to do.

thank you for reading my blogs, it really means so much to me! you can continue supporting me by praying for my squad and i. pray for healing, health, comfort and peace. i will be in isolation for the next 7 days so feel free to facetime/call me, ask me any questions or simply send me a text! my number is (513)779-3507.

remember that you're so loved & treasured! 

lydia