trusting in the unknown

as most of you know i have been living in georgia for 3 months, training with my squad. people who were strangers to me in september soon became family. they are men and woman who run after the fathers heart, always have a willingness to say “yes” to whatever he calls of them. they seek growth, vulnerability & intimacy. i am super honored to know each one of them. 

on november 20th we had a yummy dinner and sung our hearts out to “steal my girl” it was the last night on campus until we parted ways for thanksgiving break the next morning. some of us (as in marissa and i) weeped at the thought of leaving everyone for a week. little did we know we wouldn’t be coming back to campus until january 3 when we launch to go to guatemala. due to many covid cases within our squads they decided the best decision would be for us to stay home through christmas break in order for everyone to be healthy by january. at first we were supposed to go back november 30, then they said we would wait an extra week and go back december 8, then they said we aren’t coming back for a whole month. 

getting this news was really hard. we were supposed to go back to campus, have more training, debrief, spend more time with our team leaders and have a christmas party. all the things being stripped away and feeling overwhelmed, sad and disappointed. during thanksgiving break i’ve been staying with my sweet sister kayci. her mom reminded us that this was Gods plan all along and he isn’t in any way surprised by this. 

i’m reminded over again that nothing is in my control but in the fathers control & he has my life in his hands. the song palm of your hand comes to my mind. it says “spinning out of control, i feel it losing my defenses no, it’s not easy letting go and trusting you and if I’m being honest, i know you though you’ve said you’ve got it no, it’s not easy letting go and trusting you so i will stop and breathe rest here in your goodness i know you won’t leave it’s my confidence.” this has been a season of constantly trusting him in the unknown. letting go of my own plans, expectations and dreams. giving it over to the maker of the universe. even when it’s hard i rest in his goodness. although seasons change, he remains the same. 

grateful for the 3 months i was able to live in georgia with my squad. the lord brought me so much growth & freedom. he broke me & restored me. i know that he isn’t done with me yet, this is only the beginning. i am excited to see what is to come. his plans are so so good! guatemala we are coming for ya! gap c, you are strong. you are loved. you are in the palm of his hand. nothing can take you away. see you in january! 

love you big,

lydia